The Plank
Opinion: one gorilla is no match for 100 men
The pressing question on everyone’s minds right now is who would win in a battle between one gorilla and 100 men? The answer seems obvious. A gorilla can absolutely annihilate a human, so 100 random dudes? Easy enough. However, many people fail to take into account numerous factors that would actually contribute towards the gorilla’s downfall.
Opinion: it’s a gorilla, you aren’t hurting it
The debate burning its way through Twitter threads and lunchrooms right now is certainly a unique one: could 100 unarmed men win a fight against a silverback gorilla?
In short, the answer is obvious: absolutely not. 100 men is a lot of power and a lot of weight, but they are pitted against a 500 pound ball of muscle and rage. With ridiculous strength and power in muscle, skin, and bone, there is no feasible way that 100 men could take down a gorilla.
Jesuit baseball looking strong as playoffs approach
Jesuit High School Sacramento’s varsity baseball team is going strong in their 2025 spring season, with a record of 18-9.
With key wins over tough opponents like Bellarmine College Preparatory and St. Mary’s High School, the team has shown its immense talent on the field. Varsity Baseball Head Coach Joe Potulny is most impressed by the team’s bond.
Opinion: a Final Four for the ages
This year’s NCAA men’s basketball tournament was special. It was the first year since 2008 that all number 1 seeds made the Final Four, which resulted in some great games that capped off an otherwise lackluster tournament. Some of the best teams that the NCAA has ever seen went head to head, and the games did not disappoint.
The first Final Four game was between the Florida Gators and the Auburn Tigers, both from the Southeastern Conference. In my opinion, Florida had the edge heading into the game, but Auburn was the aggressor going into halftime with an eight point lead. I still had faith that Florida could win, and they delivered. Florida was able to close the gap with Walter Clayton Jr. leading the way, and Florida ended up winning 79-73.
Opinion: Eat more Chicken
Chicken is the best meat. Its nutritional value combined with its delicious taste and versatility puts chicken far ahead of other meats.
Chickens have been consumed for nearly 10,000 years, starting with the domestication of the flightless bird in Western China. Its scarcity led to it being considered a delicacy in the United States in the early 1800s, but it has since become one of the most common dishes in the world. The prevalence of chicken has caused it to be cheap, allowing people all over the world to obtain it.
Jewish Student Union scores a win for the record books
From Monday, March 31 to Friday, April 11, the big event on Jesuit High School Sacramento’s campus was the World Cup. With five different teams each competing under the flag of their representative countries, the atmosphere was extremely exciting.
In the first game on Wednesday, April 2, the Asian Pacific Islanders Club (APIC) came out with a 4-2 victory over the Jewish Student Union (JSU). After that game, Latinos Unidos played the French Club. At halftime, the French Club was up 6 points, but Latinos Unidos caught up by the end of the game, making the final score 6-6.
Review: it was a fun night gambling with Mom
On Saturday, April 5, I attended the annual Mother-Son Dance, which was themed “CasinoNight, and although it was called a dance, there was little dancing done – instead, I did a little bit of gambling with my friends, and made some of the fondest memories I have from a “dance”.
When I entered the Father Barry Gymnasium on that Saturday, it had been transformed into a lively casino that included a Bingo board and lots of snacks on the side. Mr. Lawrence Simon was DJing the event, and kept the tunes going the whole night.
Jesuit Rugby continues its storied history of success
Jesuit High School Sacramento’s varsity rugby team is in the middle of a strong season, currently holding a 6-3 record. Over the years, Jesuit’s Rugby program has won nine national championships and sent numerous players to compete at the highest levels, including the Rugby World Cup.
Head Varsity Rugby Coach Andrew Acosta attested to the program’s tradition of success.
Jesuit beats rival Christian Brothers in Holy Diamond
On March 29, 2025, the Jesuit High School Sacramento varsity baseball team played the Christian Brothers Falcons at home, in the Baseball-Albie Swingin’ for Life Games, where all ticket sales would go to the Albie Aware Breast Cancer Foundation. The Marauders would win the rivalry game with a score of 5-2.
Black Student Union: ties to culture
One of the most active cultural clubs at Jesuit High School Sacramento is the Black Student Union (BSU), a place where students come together to learn about African American culture.
President of the BSU Amaury McKinney ’25 organizes many of the club’s activities. He values the personal benefits that the BSU offers him and other students.
Jesuit with series wins against Oak Ridge and Folsom
On March 18, 2025, the Jesuit High School Sacramento varsity baseball team started a three-game series against the Oak Ridge High School Trojans. Then, following a hard-fought 2-1 series win, the Marauders would get tested yet again against the Folsom High School Bulldogs, in a series starting on March 24.
The Marauders used a combination of strong hitting from shortstop Sammy Kane ’26 and first baseman Cade Colombara ’25 and impressive pitching performances from Owen Lesser ’26 and Alex Quigley ’26 to win 5 out of the 6 games.
Review: ‘Shin Godzilla’ breaks new ground
Directed by Hideaki Anno and Shinji Higuchi, “Shin Godzilla” is the 31st film in the Godzilla Toho franchise. It was released on July 29, 2016 in Japan and had a limited release in America on Oct. 11, 2016.
Opinion: San Diego’s shining schools
During the Mid Semester Break, I had the opportunity to go down to Southern California and tour a variety of schools in the beautiful city of San Diego, California. The three schools I toured were the University of San Diego (USD), University of California San Diego (UCSD), and San Diego State University (SDSU). Each school had their own individual strengths that I hope to highlight.
Jesuit Lacrosse passes their way to a 7-4 start
As spring begins, Jesuit High School Sacramento’s lacrosse team has kicked off their season with a strong start. Looking to push themselves in a strong year, the team holds a league record of 6-3 and an overall record of 7-4.
The lacrosse team started the season off with a winning streak against Vista Del Lago (11-7), Rocklin (16-2), Folsom (14-2), Del Oro (15-9).
Pizza and Prayer encourages faith at Jesuit
“It’s the most goated club on campus.”
These words, spoken by Mr. Lawrence Simon ’13, refer to the club he founded: the Pizza and Prayer Club. Created in 2023 to get students to engage in more prayer, the club creates a relaxed environment for students to converse about their religion with like-minded peers.
Cubing Club: a unique hobby for all
Ever since its invention by Erno Rubik in 1974, the Rubik’s Cube has puzzled and intrigued people of all ages. In the mind sport known as speedcubing, or “cubing,” participants try to solve the iconic 3×3x3 puzzle in as little time as possible. Though cubing has been a widespread phenomenon since the 1980s, there has never been an official way for Jesuit High School Sacramento students to partake in this hobby.
That is, until the creation of the Cubing Club.
Opinion: Jesuit Drama soars above expectations with Spring Musical
When I walked into the Black Box Theater on Saturday, March 8, to watch Jesuit Drama’s production of Mary Poppins Jr., I was expecting a standard high school performance, complete with all the charming foibles one would expect of a high school play.
I did not see that show.
Mary Poppins Pops off in the Black Box Theater
From March 7 to March 16, Jesuit High School Sacramento’s drama department performed the musical “Mary Poppins.” The play sold out in the first 3 days, breaking the Jesuit Drama record.
The exceptional performances were in large part due to the hard work put in by the cast and crew.
“We rehearsed for almost 15 hours every week for two months, learned a lot of complicated choreography, and memorized a lot of lyrics for songs,” said cast member Ali Zaidi ’25. “Everyone gave it their all and did a great job.”
Godzilla Minus One: the latest masterpiece from an iconic franchise
Written and directed by Takashi Yamazaki, “Godzilla Minus One” is the 37th movie in the Godzilla franchise. It was released in Japanese theaters on Nov. 3, 2023 and in American theaters on Dec. 1, 2023 for the 70th anniversary of Godzilla. The film received critical acclaim and won an Oscar for best visual effects a few months after its release.
“Godzilla Minus One” is a reimagination of the original 1954 “Godzilla,” and is heavily inspired by Jaws and Shin Godzilla. The title, “Godzilla Minus One,” hints at the fact that after World War Two, Japan was at its lowest point (aka ground zero), but the resurgence of Godzilla has taken Japan below zero (aka minus one). The film follows a former Kamikaze pilot, Kōichi Shikishima, who encounters Godzilla during the war and is destined to face the monster.
Jesuit Auction: a Party in Palm Beach
On Saturday, March 22, Jesuit High School Sacramento will host its 53rd Annual Jesuit Auction & Gala.
Every year, the Department of Advancement and parent volunteers spend months preparing for this event. The aim of the auction is to raise money to support students financially.